Whod you bang
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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