God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
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just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
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Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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