OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
