HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it's like iHOP with fire
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
