Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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