Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Panties = found
Randomize