I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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