i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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