I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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