You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
