I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
