OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
