if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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