If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
