WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
