I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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