its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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