New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
