Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
