i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
