What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
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Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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