Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I CAN MOONWALK!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
