I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
