we have officially mastered the walk of shame
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
