I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
