What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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