can we get nightvision for the apartment?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
