My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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