So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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