tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The air taste purple.
Randomize