its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
