im gay
i know
yea but for you.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
