I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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