So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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