After last night, I could never be a politician.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
