What did we do last night that was yellow?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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