I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
