His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Never underestimate the power of titties
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
