My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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