Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
