Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Need sex. Gaining weight.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
