i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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