from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
