oh fat girl friday strikes again...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
