Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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