i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
