Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
