If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize