You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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