Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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