So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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