I am puke
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
