did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
