So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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