im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
