She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
