I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
