I faked an abortion last night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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