just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize