I will die if light touches me.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
