It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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