Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
