Buhtt sex?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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