i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
