I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
