I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
