Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
its liver damage thursday
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
