it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
